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"press conference "

Tonight we are hosting a “Parting of the Ways” party at TheRealHouse. A married couple we know is getting a divorce and they wanted to have a Wiccan ritual to commemorate the occasion. They also wanted to have a party to set the tone of their separation. “We still like each other. We just don’t want to be married anymore. So you can invite us both to the same parties without fear of awkwardness.”

The more I think about it, the more sense it makes. Within an extended group of friends, how do you let people know about life changes? I mean, for the last few months, anytime anyone saw one of the couple out, people ask, “Hey, where’s your husband/wife?” I would guess that explaining the whole situation would quickly grow tiresome.

So, in a way, the party is like a personal press conference. Setting the record straight as efficiently as possible.

I may be in need of a press conference, myself.

I try to be pretty open about my life, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy to understand. I have a pretty nontraditional existence. I don’t have a regular job. I don’t wear regular clothes. I don’t live in a regular house.

An even though I am in a loving, committed relationship with a woman…it, too, is nontraditional. My lover, Phoenix, and I do not have an exclusive relationship. We are each free to enjoy partners outside of the relationship as well as bring additional partners into our relationship. In the past we have romanced single women, fooled around with other couples, visited swing clubs, and explored many avenues of our sexuality together. There have been life-changing, magical moments and it continues to be an amazing journey. It may be difficult to understand, but we have a level of intimacy I’ve never experienced in exclusive relationships.

Recently we started dating a woman. Faith is fun, sexy, and both Phoenix and I like her. After all playing together one night, we decided to pursue the relationship further. What does that mean? I’m not really sure. This is new to me. All I know is that it is an exciting adventure that I couldn’t share with anyone but Phoenix.

Last night, a caring person emailed Phoenix. The person was watching the House webcams and saw Faith and me messing around while Phoenix slept. She hated to send an email like that, but felt it was only fair to Phoenix that she know.

I should explain…

Phoenix enjoys a drunk laundry night with a girlfriend every Thursday. Faith and I go dancing. We tried to wake Phoenix when we returned from dancing since we would have much rather included her. But Phoenix only woke enough to give us kisses and then go back to slumberland. She was content to keep sleeping and enjoy the late night/early morning cuddle pile. So Faith and I did mess around. But not behind Phoenix’s back.

Later we crawled into bed and embraced Phoenix tenderly. There was no black cloud of deceit marring the night. Only smiles, sleepy coos, and lots of soft skin to caress.

This morning there was hot coffee and hugs all around. Phoenix was only upset about one thing, “I tried to stay awake. Next time, can you guys come home earlier so I don’t miss out?”

I forget what my life must look like from the outside. Sometimes I need to have a reality check. Other times I may need to have a press conference.


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