In a weird space lately�
Craving meaning for my effort.
Craving a way to make my work have weight.
But I�m also lacking focus.
I think it�s fear that creates this feeling.
Fear of discomfort, awkwardness, doubt.
And underneath it all a belief that I�m not good enough.
What should I do?
A website?
A film?
A script?
Acting?
A ministry?
A book?
How many times do I ask myself this?
Why don�t I just write?
I probably have written more about not writing, than anything else.
I think multi-tasking is one of my problems. I always have 20 or more windows open. So the minute I hit an impasse of thought, I click to another window�check my mail�check a message board�check each taskbar tab and remind myself what I have half-finished in Dreamweaver, or Word, or Photoshop.
My computer has allowed me to maintain a work environment far more cluttered and distracting than any desk.
I crave productivity.
I crave that feeling of completion. Like the full-throated gulping feeling of satisfying a thirst.
Unfortunately, the projects I crave to complete require more work than they used to. My fleeting attention span works well with single sitting projects. But if it requires multiple days or weeks�it is practically doomed.
I have countless half-done graphics, stories, and animations.
Pages and pages of ideas and plans.
I�m not sure how to get it all under control.
I�m floating�but not with peace.
I need to pick a destination and swim for it. Instead of thrashing about in the center of the pool.
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