last 5 wrds:

"miscommunicate "

I had many real-life connections this weekend with people who understood where my head and heart is. People outside what I normally consider to be “my people.” I often assume that people need to be on the fringe to “get” me. But a few wonderful talks with older lawyers and clergymen confirm that to be untrue.

This makes me feel wonderful.

The irony is beautiful.

I seem to be becoming more of a sex-focused novelty to the online tribe I feel closest to. While at the same time I’m building deeper connections with tribes I assumed would be at odds with me.

It was a shock to read so many comments of people finding me “foolish.”

I think there are vast misunderstandings, but the comments have some merit (which is why they hurt).

It is unsettling to hear myself called a "fool" when in my heart I know that I am growing spiritually like I never have before. Spending time with my grandfather has been a huge part of that. I’m sorry the Sex stuff gets so much more attention than the Caleb posts.

(And, yes, Caleb and I have discussed Globalgasm. )

To clarify why I put so much energy into Globalgasm and sex:

My assumption was that sex was a good medium for talking about the interconnectedness of people. To me, sexual union is sacred --Perhaps the most obvious touch to the divine realm in daily living (Looking into a babies’ eyes is another example.)

Obviously, I am wrong.

“Sex” clouds the concepts of love and connection for most people.

I apologize to anyone who feels I let down by following this path. I can only say that I was striving to listen to my inner truth.

I still believe there is powerful lessons of love and healing in sex, but I clearly lack the skills to communicate them.

I will still follow my truth, I just need to decide how to do it, where to focus, and what to share.


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