last 5 wrds:

"edge "

In the late 80’s I was really into hop hop. The integration program at my high school exposed me to home made mix tapes of NWA in addition to kids from the other side of town. At the time it was underground. It was subversive.

Before long we had “Yo, MTV Raps,” Jazzy Jeff, and now rap is so mainstream you can get a Nelly action figure in your Happy Meal.

In the early 90’s I went to warehouse raves in Los Angeles. Crazy clothes. Drugs. A subversive attempt to fuse music, love, dance, and drugs. Then the crazy kids from 90210 went to a “rave party.” Now techno is played from every car commercial during prime time.

In the early days of the web I spoke openly about my love of porn. Porn was outlaw. It was shocking and scandalous. Now there are porn jokes in sit-coms. And Seymore Butts is on reality TV.

In the late 90’s I was really into being a “political bisexual.” I embraced my feminine sides and flirted with androgyny. It was nothing that hadn’t been done a 100 times more intensely by David Bowie, Perry Farrel, or Trent Reznor. But it was still subversive and edgy. Now you can barley pick up a magazine without an article on fashionable “Metrosexuals.”

I wonder if my identity is tied to being on the edge. And when my style becomes mainstream, it starts to feel less like me.

I fear that is a dangerous place to define myself.

The edge feels ALIVE…but it also lacks peace.


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