last 5 wrds:

"vulva "

I just got the following email:

Hi! I have a sexual question about my body (female)! Is it normal for the lips of my vagina to be extra long or stretched out?

My response:

Let me preface by saying that, except for a few nights out of the year, I am *not* a woman and have never had a vagina myself. But Iíll speak to this as best I can.


There are so many wonderful variations of vagina appearances.

There is no 1 way they look. Growing up, I thought girls had little slits like the lines between girls legs you see in Japanese dirty comics.

But a womanís vulva has MUCH more character. I am learning that each women is indeed like a flower. The arrangement of petals as varied as womenís faces.

So, yes, it is normal for the lips to be extra long.

Some are puffy. Some are tiny. Some are pronounced. Some hang.

It is unfortunate that so many women think their genitals are "different."

I guess, considering how much men stress about their genitals, it would make sense that women would, too.

Your email is the 3rd time Iíve heard a woman question her genitals in the last month.

First I was watching an old home porn movie and heard my lover say at one point, "You don't mind my big 'ol pussy lips?"

Most recently, a lover made a comment apologizing for her pronounced anatomy.


That's like apologizing that the ice cream sundae is being served in a blue bowl. There is no correct bowl.

It is all beautiful and wonderful.

In fact, a photographer friend of mine showed me the draft of a book he is putting together. It is an art book filled with B&W close-ups of vaginas. The variation surprised me. Ya just don't get enough opportunities to stare, up close, at genitals.

I wish we didnít have such nudity taboos. By the time we are sexually active, the only genitals we get a good look at are our own, and the ones in Playboy. (side note, if you want to get a good look at my genitals, let me know.)


I plan on bringing my kids to nude beaches often. I want them to see all the wonderful varieties of human bodies. Not just the genital variation, but asses, thighs, bellies, boobs, etc.

Because people don't look like playboy models. Even playboy models don't. I've seen playboy models in real life and while gorgeous, they are human and flawed just like everybody else. They get ingrown hairs, too. Their bumps just don't make it to the pages of the magazine.

So you have big areolas or thick vagina lips. So your penis looks weird when flaccid or curves to the right.

Great! That's what makes you YOU. And its as miraculous as the sparkle in your eye and the ideas in your head.

So, to answer your question, you vagina sounds perfect.

Of course, if your vagina size/shape/color *changes* then you may want to get it checked by a doctor ASAP.

Otherwise, embrace your beautiful flower! And give her a caress from me.

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