My girlfriend got her own place today. A place off cam… and with fewer roommates.
We’re still together. We’re fine.
But she needed to get out of TheRealHouse.
And I wasn’t ready.
Sometimes I’m not the most supportive boyfriend.
Some might even say I’m selfish.
I think I’m a very loving person.
But sometimes I’m not good about making sacrifices for people I care about.
So I dragged my feet about leaving TheRealHouse.
Then I complained about apartment hunting.
I even made my girlfriend feel like I didn’t want to move and I was only doing it for her.
(Which isn’t true. I know I need to move…but I’m scared and anxious and hell-bent on procrastinating.)
So she found a room available immediately on a month-by-month basis. Presumably, when I get over my demons, we’ll look for a place together.
This all made sense to me.
But now the reality kicks in.
The inevitable nights alone.
The guilt.
And the abrupt understanding of what I was taking for granted.