I’m gonna try to start doing morning pages again.
Basically, its just writing for a set period of time in the morning first thing.
The goal is to get the creative juices flowing…before the “shoulds” and net surfing patterns start destroying my flow.
This means NOT checking my email first thing in the morning. Last night I set a loose schedule for myself. It says "9am check email [NOT BEFORE]"
Easier written than done.
It was so hard for me to not check my email this morning. Talking to myself, I sounded like a junkie. “Gee, my mail program is already open. I’ll just check it one last time, then close it.…I’ll get serious about this morning paper thing tomorrow.”
I can hear a Jane’s Addiction song in my head, “…she’s gonna kick tomorrow!”
Luckily, in the net addict’s equivalent of flushing the junk down the toilet, I canceled my Outlook mid-check.
I told myself no mail until 9am.
One hour at a time.
This would be funny if it weren’t real.
Part of it is my frantic avoidance of dead time. As soon as I hit a lull, I go into multi-task mode and click on another window.
Waiting for a website to load? Click to see if I have any new mail.
Pausing to find the right word for an email response? Click to see if Metafilter has been updated. Or a new post on another message Boards.
Nothing new? Maybe there is an Instant Message waiting for me on CitizenX?
JUST NOW, as I came to a pause in this very writing, my instinct was to look into my computer’s task bar and see what else I could click around to.
I need to slow down and let the pauses happen.
Sit in them.
Howard stern one time talked about not fearing the silence. Quality is more important than constant output.
I need to know that reading one post at a time…by checking a site 20 times during a day…is not necessarily better than checking it twice a day and catching up in large chuncks.
Same is true with email.
I need to stay on a single task for long enough to get in a groove. Without a groove, I can do this net bouncing for an entire day. I can be click click clicking all day long and have nothing at the end of the day to show for it.
It is now 8:56am. I haven’t yet checked my email. Looks like I made it. Today.