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"gifts "

I've had a few spiritual "gifts" in my life.

Experiences that have given me "knowledge" rather than "faith" in a larger spiritual power/energy/love/god/etc.

The most significant one was on a mountaintop in Turkey.

It was a life-changing awareness that the purpose of life was to embrace the gift of consciousness. I floated in absolute clarity, then, upon returning to consciousness, it was though a mental gift had been placed in my head.

But the awareness came without study or discipline

I have always been more “open to the universe’s deliveries” than I have been a seeker. Rather than look for answers, I try to simply be listening when the gifts arrive.

I was blessed with a more balanced than average family life. My parents loved unconditionally and supported my non-mainstream pursuits. They encouraged open communication and talked frankly about sexuality.

I think this gave me a head start in the stripping away socialization process.

I have recently started going to “church” for the first time. Weekly lectures based on “A course in Miracles.”

I find the community of seekers to be energizing. Especially seeing so many people who have been working much harder for much longer.

I consider myself a spiritual student, but not one that sits in the front of the class or does his homework on time.

I do try to see the teacher in everyone I meet, though.

It seems as though I am at a crossroads. Well not so much a crossroads, because I don’t think there is really any choice. It is just a matter of accepting the flow of the universe into a new area. “Crossroads” implies I am steering and could choose a path. I am concentrating on *not* steering. But instead letting the universe flow through me. Be a leaf in the stream.

This new crossroads is revealing to me that I may have larger purpose than I thought. The universe may need me to be a leader. To act as a focal point for spreading good energy and love. I know that I do not create those things. But perhaps my gifts will be useful tools for the universe to spread it’s light.

Sometimes it seems so obvious, I simply *know* it. Sometimes it seems so silly and arrogant that I get embarrassed.

We are all a part of god. I know this. It is not something I have faith in or believe in. I KNOW it. I feel it.

Perhaps my purpose is to help people see themselves in me, and then get their asses up on the throne where they belong.

Too many of us are eagles parading as chickens.


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