It appears that Kaycee was not real.
I don't know what to say.
I'm relieved. I'm crushed. I'm confused.
I feel like it’s the end of “The Sixth Sense” or “The Usual Suspects” and I am going through every scene, trying to re-visualize what *really* happened.
Who did I talk to on the phone? Who sent the Halloween candy?
Who emailed me for consolation when her beloved Dr. John died in an auto accident last year? Who sent me the Kansas City Royals Hat (KC...get it?) and signed it with Kaycee's name? Who did I speak to on the phone and who left me so many voice messages when I was at CollegeClub? Who opened the care package of cool hats I sent to cover Kaycee’s balding head?
It seems like I should be spiritually destroyed, but oddly, I don’t feel that way.
More than anything, I feel surrounded by love.
Take Kaycee out of the equation: You have a community of people who loved together, hurt together, learned together and consoled each other.
My inbox is filled with messages of love.
Instead of hugging each other over the death of a 19 year old girl, we are consoling each other over the death of a belief. Instead of helping each other to keep Kaycee’s spirit alive within each other, we are helping each other keep our faith in humanity alive.
To everyone who is extending their hearts to each other now, THANK YOU. Kaycee may not be real, but the love flowing through the net right now *is*.
Side Note: This Wednesday at 5:00 pm (Pacific) I’ll be doing a net radio show about Kaycee/Debbie/Love/Mistrust. People are welcome to call in and share their feelings about this whole ordeal. Then at 6:00 will be the weekly HugNation.com Virtual Group Hug. This week, more than any, I think we could all use one.
Both the radio show and hug will be meeting in the “Feel the Love” Lounge
Again, thank you.