Recent comments about my site being �sad� and that it �sucks now� kinda messed with my mood. I try to focus on pleasing myself, and not worrying about what other people think. But it�s hard.
Entertaining, enriching, touching other people is one of my greatest joys. I love it when I get an email from a person after they�ve read something.
It�s a great feeling.
And I can�t pretend I don�t get bummed by the less-than-positive remarks, too.
On an emotional level, it�s hard to hear, �You *used* to inspire me.� While I appreciate the feedback (When the tone isn�t spiteful), it�s still hard to feel less-liked.
Being less affected by external opinions is something I�m working on.
I used to get mail each week after a new Tale went up. It was a rush.
Then the emails slowed to a trickle.
Maybe I wasn�t being funny. Maybe nobody was reading. I�ve never been good at watching my traffic stats.
Around the first of the year, I stopped writing weekly Tales on Prehensile.com. Only two people emailed after noticing.
I�m still writing. But not publishing it all online.
I�ve also spent lots of energy on other digital diversions:
CitizenX.com, TheRealHouse.com, Globalgasm.com.
I�ve also been trying to explore other mediums with my 91X web spots, RealHouseTV.com, my radio show on IMG2.com, and the San Diego correspondent for Canadian TV show, TalkTV
And I still try to share a new wrds and some photos occasionally.
But I definitely get less feedback than I used to.
Perhaps I used to be more insightful. .
Maybe I�ve been scared.
Maybe I�ve just been lazy.
Maybe being madly in love of a woman has distracted me. Maybe I share more with her, and less with the web�like some sort of dysfunctional digital polygamy.
Or maybe the things I�ve been exploring lately (webcam technology and digital intimacy) are simply not interesting to people.
Regardless of external feedback, I need to stay true to my self. And remind myself that while the external strokes may feel good, they must be balanced by a steady supply of self-love. Otherwise the self-esteem leaves when the compliments do.
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