I was dancing with a woman on Friday night. Just met her on the dancefloor. We were innocently sharing the bliss of a thumping bassline. I was shaking my groove thang and sending out a sexy vibe. When she started grabbing my goodies and putting my hands under her shirt, it got a little wierd. Don't get me wrong, I was thrilled, but it felt tacky on the dancefloor.
I suggested we go to my place.
She quickly made an excuse.
I realized that I like "sexy" dancing...but not "sexual" dancing.
Dancing is an alternate state. One where you let go of the control you keep on your muscles, and instead let the rhythm drive for a while.
"Sexy" dancing is when two people's bodies are being driven by that same beat. Moving in tune...like they're being controlled by the same musical puppeteer.
If it progresses to "sexual," it's time to get off the dance floor and get to a bedroom.
If I'm in a sexual state, I'm even more altered. I begin to follow my my body's impulses, not my mind's and not the music's. That state of mind is a vulnerable one that I prefer to share with a partner (or partners) only.
Groping on the dancefloor is just kinda tacky and out of place. Like meditating on the dancefloor: Wrong state of mind for the situation.
Then again, the above could explain why I'm not very successful with women in bars.
june 12, 2000