last 5 wrds:

"downers "

Sometimes I post some pretty depressive thoughts.

And while I don’t really want that to be a part of my online identity, I do this for a few reasons.

1) writing them down and posting them often allows me to “let go” of the thoughts.
2) I don’t want to portray myself as someone who is always happy and balanced. Life is a challenge. And while I am in a state of gratitude and love most of the time, it would be dishonest to portray myself as someone who doesn’t have “funk” spells.
3) As a middle aged guy who has done my share of growth and sometimes is looked up to, I want to make sure everyone knows that I still have LOTS of growth ahead of me…as do we all.

That being said, Often by the time you read my words, the down thoughts have subsided. I am getting better and better and recognizing the funk, WITHOUT identifying myself with it. Like it is an oily film covering my psych…but not one that infiltrates my being. One that I need to deal with until it is washed away.

It is not unlike having an annoying house guest. I have to endure them, but I’m not going to re-decorate my place to suit their needs. And I’m not going to take to heart their criticism of my life.

So don’t take my whiny thoughts as anything more than a snapshot of a moment in my constantly changing cycles. And we need to funks to appreciate the joy of the good times. Without the darkness of night, you would never see the stars.


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