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Generations

"aborted "

I was going to go see the film “Lost in Translation” tonight.

But I decided not to last minute.

Why?

Because I’m almost certain I would enjoy it and be inspired by it…

And then I would spiral into self-hate.

See, I have been feeling down on myself, lately.

Like I’m not realizing my potential.

It’s the same feelings I’ve had for a decade. Caused by the same fears and laziness.

My excuses have become boring to my own ears.

I am tired of hearing myself say, “What I need to do is…”

So lately, whenever I experience art that moves me…

It feels like a kick in the shins.

It is a reminder of what I haven’t done.

And, at this pace, will never do.

In a few years, smiling children will probably make me feel this way.

But for now, its things I could have written.

I am haunted by the ghosts of aborted screenplays and books. Never having the courage and conviction to bring one to term.

 


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