I sat down to write and realized I’ve never done anything valiant in the name of love. I’ve never quit my job or moved across country or tattooed a name.
I’ve never rode up on a white horse or rescued someone from a castle tower.
All I could think of was a few trips to pick up people from the airport during rush hour.
I started to feel really selfish.
What *have* I done for love?
I sulked at my computer.
Then, I got an instant message from someone enjoying the sense of community at Citizenx.com (the webcam community I ran).
“You know what's cool about this moment? the stupid stuff that separates us -- your bleeding heart liberal causes, my born-again perspective -- the shit don't matter. maybe I'm starting to trip to your vibe. You make it easy to *love*, john.”
And *that* made me feel pretty damn good.
And I was reminded that I do a lot for love.
I *express* a lot of love.
I really focus on trying to put as much love into the world as possible.
I realized about 5 years ago that love was not a limited resource.
That I didn’t have to be guarded with who I gave love to.
It never runs out.
And the more I express, the more I am capable of.
I realized that, in fact, I’ve dedicated a lot of my life to pushing the ability of the web to express love. CitizenX.com. HugNation.com. Radio.cockybastard.com. Those were definitely done for love.
I’ve been feeling like these projects were a failure recently. But perhaps what I’ve been working for is exactly what that instant message said: I made it easier for him to love.
Perhaps I’ve done something valiant after all.