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"Substitute "

I turned in my paperwork to be a substitute teacher. I now hold a piece of paper that makes it LEGAL for me to get in front of young children as a voice of authority. Kinda makes being a parent seem even *more* terrifying. Not only do you have to clothe them and feed them and protect them...now you have to worry about what crazy ideas the substitute teacher might be filling their heads with.

"Hello, I am Mr Styn."

[writes "STYN" on board with the penpersonship of a toddler on double espresso]

"The lesson plan your teacher left is some nonsense about geometry...but how many of you would rather talk about nudist resorts? A show of hands?"

A Republican senate and ME in charge of a classroom?! Has the whole world gone CRAZY?


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