I just finished being a guest on a Canadian TV talk show about “The New Normal: Sex and Intimacy Post 9-11”
Unfortunately, being the only “via Webcam” guest on a talk show makes it kinda hard to get your voice heard. I had two outbursts that were fairly coherent.
At one point we were discussing how the taboo of sex may be getting less and less. I said that it was the taboo on openly expressing love that is changing and (hopefully) going away. I think that people feel less embarrassed about loving strangers. About showing care and compassion. About letting down their guard and showing some vulnerability.
Well, at least that’s what I’m praying for.
But there were a few things I wish I could have gotten out. Its hard to fight for the conch via webcam.
There was much discussion about sex vs. intimacy.
I would say that sex is one possible expression of intimacy. And that intimacy is really more about love. Any type of love. I would define intimacy as “defining yourself through the other person or persons.” So, that can happen during a one night stand. And it doesn’t necessarily have to happen with a sexual encounter. Penetration does NOT equal intimacy. But I would consider sex without intimacy to be masturbation (with a really big prop.)
Any worthwhile sexual encounter has intimacy. It has soul joining. Even if it for a few transcendent breaths, it *is* an experience of intimacy. So, too, can a hug be an intimate experience.
The idea of DigitalIntimacy.com is to explore how we can use the internet as a tool for achieving those experiences.
The global experiences of intimacy like HugNation and Globalgasm are slightly different, but still fit the definition. During Globalgasm, or HugNation, you are focusing your energies beyond yourself to all the other participants. You are trying to feel everyone’s expression as an extension of your expression. During that moment, you are defined by all your fellow participants. You do not exist without them.
When you extend intimacy to this global level, it becomes deeply spiritual. For if you are defined by people all over the world, isn’t that kinda like being a part of the divine?