Recent comments about my site being “sad” and that it “sucks now” kinda messed with my mood. I try to focus on pleasing myself, and not worrying about what other people think. But it’s hard.
Entertaining, enriching, touching other people is one of my greatest joys. I love it when I get an email from a person after they’ve read something.
It’s a great feeling.
And I can’t pretend I don’t get bummed by the less-than-positive remarks, too.
On an emotional level, it’s hard to hear, “You *used* to inspire me.” While I appreciate the feedback (When the tone isn’t spiteful), it’s still hard to feel less-liked.
Being less affected by external opinions is something I’m working on.
I used to get mail each week after a new Tale went up. It was a rush.
Then the emails slowed to a trickle.
Maybe I wasn’t being funny. Maybe nobody was reading. I’ve never been good at watching my traffic stats.
Around the first of the year, I stopped writing weekly Tales on Prehensile.com. Only two people emailed after noticing.
I’m still writing. But not publishing it all online.
I’ve also spent lots of energy on other digital diversions:
CitizenX.com, TheRealHouse.com, Globalgasm.com.
I’ve also been trying to explore other mediums with my 91X web spots, RealHouseTV.com, my radio show on IMG2.com, and the San Diego correspondent for Canadian TV show, TalkTV
And I still try to share a new wrds and some photos occasionally.
But I definitely get less feedback than I used to.
Perhaps I used to be more insightful. .
Maybe I’ve been scared.
Maybe I’ve just been lazy.
Maybe being madly in love of a woman has distracted me. Maybe I share more with her, and less with the web…like some sort of dysfunctional digital polygamy.
Or maybe the things I’ve been exploring lately (webcam technology and digital intimacy) are simply not interesting to people.
Regardless of external feedback, I need to stay true to my self. And remind myself that while the external strokes may feel good, they must be balanced by a steady supply of self-love. Otherwise the self-esteem leaves when the compliments do.